People who are avoidant find emotional intimacy triggering and unsafe. They cope with this by being: distant, shut down, and hyper-independent. Avoidance (like all attachment styles) happens on a spectrum. The more they experienced betrayal, shaming, rejection, or abandonment growing up— the more the impulse will be to self focus. Unlike someone with anxious attachment— who soothes through reassurance and attachment to a partner, someone who’s avoidant soothes through fleeing and self reliance.
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What Is Intimacy Avoidance? | Dr. Doug Weiss
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YouTubeDr. Doug Weiss
It’s the same avoidance, just disguised as connection. Avoidants run from intimacy; anxious partners run from solitude. Both are escaping the same fear — the pain of sitting with themselves. Healing starts when you stop outsourcing your emotional safety and start building it within. When you stay with the feeling instead of running from it, that’s where freedom begins. If this spoke to you, it’s time to stop repeating the same attachment patterns and start rebuilding safety from the inside out.
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Most people think avoidance means fear of intimacy. But in narcissistic relationships, avoidance is often a learned response to emotional punishment. Many people enter these relationships open, communicative, and secure. What changes them is not commitment, it is repeated emotional instability. Here is how it happens. 1️⃣ Your needs are met with dismissal. For example, you express a concern and are told you are too sensitive, dramatic, or asking for too much. Why it matters, when vulnerability i
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